A line from the sermon yesterday has me thinking today:

"Don't let the events in your life define your purpose. Instead, let your God-given purpose define you and how you deal with the events that come your way."

2012 has had a host of terrible events that have impacted all of us...

Political animus poisoning TV, the Internet, blogs, and on and on
Financial crises striking at the core of our security as individuals and a country
Violent weather taking people's homes and lives
Countries pushing each other toward war
Insanity acted out in bombings and shootings
And on and on it goes.

With each new news report, our hearts are pierced. We wonder what has happened to this world, to our own country, to our friends and family that has left us all so...weary. Even hopeless. I have found myself lost in a sense of despair that mankind is hopelessly wicked, and that evil is running rampant as never before...

And yet.

And yet...

God. 

God is. God lives and breathes. God speaks and acts. And He is there, in every pain-filled event, speaking His truth, whispering his peace to our souls. And if I will but listen, my God-given purpose--which is the same as everyone's: to reflect Him in a wounded and weary world--grows stronger. Undergirds me. Brings me the peace that passes understanding so that rather than giving in to the sorrow and anger, I can lift my head and say with absolute conviction...

GOD IS.

He is peace and hope. He is restoration. He is the beginning and the end. He is...

Everything.

And while I cannot change the world, or bring mankind back to sanity, He can. All I need to do is follow Him, step-by-step, and leave the results to the Him. And so, each day, as I hear of new pain or anger or fears, I take them to Him. And I hold fast to the truth that He is at work in every event, every circumstance. And while I may not understand it all, I can rest in His promises and goodness.

And that is the best peace of all. 

Peaceful Words, part deux

As I said in my last post, I decided to spend some time searching Scripture to find verses about God's peace. As I did so, I was reminded, yet again, how much our Father loves us, because:

No storm we face is mightier than the God who sustains us.
"The voice of the LORD echoes above the sea. The God of glory thunders The Lord thunders over the mighty sea. the voice of the LORD is powerful. The voice of the LORD is majestic....The LORD rules over the floodwaters...The LORD gives his people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace." Psalm 29: 3-4, 10-11

Our holy Father tells us exactly what we need to do to know His peace.
"All who listen to [God's wisdom] will live in peace, untroubled by fear or alarm." Proverbs 1:33

God is there, now and always, no matter what we face.
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock." Isaiah 26: 3, 4

When the world is captured in chaos, God is there, with us, bringing us peace.
"Justice will rule in the wilderness and righteousness in the fertile field. And this righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in safety, quietly at home, they will be at rest. Even if the forest should be destroyed and the city torn down, the LORD will greatly bless His people." Isaiah 32: 16-20.

No matter how bad things get, we are not alone. Our all-powerful God is with us.
"In the last days, the mountain of the LORD's house will be the hightest of all--the most important place on earth....There He will teach us His ways and we will walk in His paths....Everyone will live in peace...and there will be nothing to fear. The LORD of Heaven's armies has made this promise! Though the nations around us follow their idols, we will follow the LORD our God forever and ever."
Micah 4: 1, 4-5

And that's just a few selections from the Old Testament. Wait until you read the equally beautiful words from the New Testament!

Peaceful Words

I love being a writer. Love being immersed in the worlds inside my imagination. Love the way imagination can bring things to full-blown, four-color life.

Usually.

There are times, though, when an active imagination can work against you.
Ever since childhood, I've dealt with nightmares. Even have a few recurring ones that just won't leave me alone. These dark and dreadful dreams still invade my sleep on a far too regular basis, leaving me gasping for air, trembling from terror, unsure what's real and what isn't.

When I was in my teens, I jolted awake from an especially terrifying nightmare. Shaken to the core, I turned on my light and grabbed my Bible. I asked God to help me. To give me something that I could hold onto at night, when I went to sleep. And here's what met my eyes and heart when I opened my Bible:

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me to dwell in safety." 

Psalm 4:8

Oh, the power of those words that night. Reading them was like sinking into a cool, clear mountain stream after suffering from the blistering sun all day. I closed my eyes, and every remnant of the nightmare fell away. It gave me the same sensation I had when my dad put his arm around me, snuggling me close to his side. I was cherished. Protected.

                                                                    Safe.

To this day, Psalm 4:8 speaks peace to my heart and mind.

I first read it in a King James Bible. The New Living Translation says it like this: "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, will keep me safe."

The Good News Translations has a nice spin on it: "When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace; for you alone, O LORD, keep me perfectly safe."

And then there's The Message: "At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep, for you, GOD, have put my life back together."

Whatever version I use, that verse carries me through many nights when my mind swirls with fear, when I know it's going to be a struggle to close my eyes and seek into a restful sleep. It comforts me when little else does. What amazing the power contained in words of truth!

As I pondered those words this morning, I decided to search out more of what God has to say to us about giving us His peace. But before I share what I discovered, I'm curious. Do YOU have specific verse that sustain you when you're afraid? Why not share it here so it can help others as well?

Peace to you today!

The Peril of Peace

I was called a dear friend the other day, just to catch up, and in the course of our conversation I told her about my Peace Experiment and my blogs. She listened, gave me some great feedback, and then said something that I knew but hadn't thought about:

Dear Friend: "There's just one problem, though." 

Unthinking Me: "Oh? What's that?"

Dear Friend, beginning to chuckle: "When you pray for something like understanding peace, you paint a target on your back." Chuckles become full-blown, rueful laughter.

Unthinking Me: ....."Oh man....I'm an idiot."

We both laugh. And cackle. And scenarios of how I'll learn peace fly. Causing more laughter.

Though it may sound as though we were being irreverent, we really weren't. Ours was the shared laughter of people who've been down these paths before, of those who have suffered, endured by God's grace, and come to the realization that very little about life this side of eternity is without cost. 

A day later, I was on Skype with a potential agenting client, who is also becoming a friend. A young man who has lived an absolutely astounding life so far. And whom God is using in amazing ways to bless others. We got on the topic of peace, and his reaction when I told him what I was doing?

"Oh man. You're in for it now."

Cue almost identical conversation--and shared laughter--as with my friend the day before. Laughter that  is still there for me, making me smile even as I'm typing. Because they're right. 

Real peace, soul-deep peace...peace that carries you through storms and uncertainty...peace that wrestles fears to the ground...peace based in a sure knowledge of the One who gives it...the "yea-though-He-slay-me-I-will-follow-Him" kind of peace...

Comes at a cost.

No, it's not that God punishes us when we ask for something like this. It's simply that you cannot know or understand such peace without it--and you--being tested. And tested. And tried. And then tested again. 

Yeah. 

I'm an idiot. 

But you know what? That's okay. Because I really want to know. I want to know what it is to be at peace, to rest in the Father, no matter what comes my way. Yes, even as I type that I'm cringing. But fear doesn't change truth. I want to know God's peace. Even if it costs me. 

And isn't that what surrendering ourselves to Him is all about? We let go of our illusion of control (because, trust me, we are NEVER really in control), of our fears and uncertainties, stretch out our warms, and fall into the river of His perfect will. We ride the rapids with Him at our side. Yes, even  rapids like this:

And we'll do it in safety. With a Holy God telling us what to do, how to survive. And one day, one glorious day, we realize we're no long afraid. In fact, riding the rapids has become more adventure than peril. And living in His peace is more nature than struggle. 

I long for that day. 

No matter the cost to get there.

A Song of Peace

Grace, grace, God's grace 

Grace that is greater than all our sin. 

Remember that hymn? I remember singing it when I was young and discovering how much fun it was to sing and harmonize. The tune has stuck with me from those early years. (If you want to see all the lyrics, you can check it out here.)

There is such truth and power in music. My family has always been musical, so my whole life has been impacted and blessed by music. It's brought me joy and laughter, and a soul-deep awareness of power of concise, story-based lyrics. When I'm weary, music lifts me. When I'm happy, music energizes me. When I'm troubled, music soothes me. And when I'm afraid...

Music can bring me peace. In fact, as I've struggled to embrace peace--and as circumstances seem to join together in a concerted effort to keep me and peace apart--I've found myself reworking the lyrics of that old hymn just a bit...

Powerful peace of our loving Lord, 

Peace that the Master's love imparts!

Poured out so freely from heaven's door,

Overflowing our trembling hearts.




Peace, peace, God's peace...

Peace that stills my cries and tears.

Peace, peace, God's peace.

Peace that is greater than all my fears.


As you ponder God's peace in the midst of whatever fears you face, may He breathe a song deep into your heart.

Wooed by Wonder

A friend, who is a Life Coach, gave me an assignment for the next week: "Enjoy God in your everyday encounters with Him rather than setting a `daily quiet time' with Him." This assignment stemmed from a session with this friend after I asked her to help me with...well...everything. She's someone who not only knows me well, but she also knows struggle and authentic faith on an intimate level. I trust her. And I've asked her to speak truth to me. This conversation was about my struggle to spend time daily in the Word, in studying and immersing myself in God's truth. So when she gave me this assignment, I just grinned. Not because the assignment is easy, but because it's so contrary to what I've always tried to do. 


You know...


The things I'm supposed to do. Read my Bible. Pray. Have a quiet time. Those things. 


What's frustrated me most is that I LOVE the Bible. Love reading it. Hearing it. Studying it. But I've never been able to do that daily Bible study and quiet time thing. 


Never. 


And I've always criticized myself for that. Told myself to grow up. To get serious and get busy. And it just. hasn't. worked. 


So here comes this wise, wise friend, and she cuts through all the condemnation, all the criticism I've heaped on myself and says, "Go. Enjoy God."


Oh. 


Yeah. 


And with that, the little light goes on in my head and heart. Enjoy God. I ponder that thought, those words. And more words come...


Savor God. Embrace God. Delight. Immerse. Cherish. Luxuriate. Relish. It's a sumptuous feast of words all focused on a joyful, appreciative experience of God. 


Today I purpose to do all of the above. To experience--and enjoy--God however I encounter Him. I invite you to do the same. Throw all the shoulds and musts to the wind and simply...


Enjoy God. 

Karen

I'm sitting here, listening to the chimes dance with the wind, hearing the deep call of our nesting morning dove couple, watching a gentle rainfall so slow and languid it's got to be Southern at its core...

Amazed by God's creation.

I've never seen rain like this. big drops that fall with haphazard glee, going in all directions at once, so gentle I almost didn't realize it was raining. The sky in front of me is bright blue, with white fluffy clouds dotted here and there. The rain isn't coming from that sky. So I turn, and there behind me, is a sky cloaked in black, dense clouds. And now I feel the wind, pushing at my face even as it tosses those big, fat, gentle raindrops around.

I'm caught in the in-between of the storm...and it's beautiful.

Life has been like this lately. Half blue sky, half dark clouds. All wonderment. God is at work, moving and working and refining. It's not easy. It's even painful and troubling at times. So why do I find myself laughing? I guess because it's all so...

God.

Unpredictable. Untamed. And yet always, always, magnificent. Reliable. Trustworthy.

This weather I'm seeing...this wonder I'm feeling...this understanding I'm gaining...it's a gift. From a Father who loves to surprise and delight.

What a good God He is.

Peace, all.

Karen

Out on a Limb

Guess what I with my homemade and hand-foamed mocha this morning? A touch of God's grace.

Let me explain.

Lisa leads the choir and music at church. She's a gifted musician and singer herself, so she knows music, and, like many of us who perform, she wrestles with perfectionism. Now, when it comes to singing and music, a little perfectionism isn't a bad thing. It pushes us to do our very best, to deliver the performance with excellence. Too much, though, and you strangle the music and the performer. It's a tough balance to achieve.


So anyway, Lisa called this morning and asked if she could come over. I could tell, from the tone of her voice, that this wasn't a visit she wanted to make. Thing is, I was pretty sure I knew why she wanted to talk with me. Our church choir is doing a challenging piece for Easter, The End of the Beginning. We performed it several years ago, and I got to do the solo. GREAT fun! So, of course, I auditioned to do the solo again this year. When Lisa called, I was pretty sure she was going tell me she wanted someone else to do the solo. Why, you ask, couldn't she just tell me that over the phone? Well, for one thing, she has a kind, kind heart and hates to disappoint anyone. For another, our church has been dealing with some inner turmoil of late, and I think she just wasn't looking forward to what might be a negative encounter.

I am, at heart, a performer. I love being in the spotlight. I love using the gifts God has given me to bless and touch people. And, though I hate to admit it, I can be a Diva. So it wasn't unreasonable for Lisa to worry that I might react negatively her news. In fact, I reacted badly several years ago when she had someone else do a song I really wanted. Petty, I know. I don't like that aspect of myself. But when I heard the hesitant tone in Lisa's voice...

It shamed me. That someone who had known me for so long would be afraid to tell me something? Be worried about my reaction? That wasn't right. So I asked God to forgive me, and to make my heart as kind and tender as Lisa's. As His.

When Lisa arrived, she looked so...fearful. I knew I was right, that the solo was going to someone else. I waited for the Diva to appear...

Enter God's grace.

The Diva was nowhere to be found.

Instead, all I felt was the desire to ease Lisa's heart. I let her know it was okay. She shared that when she prayed about the solo, God whispered to her, "Not Karen this time." When I heard that, all I felt was excitement. Then Lisa said, "I'm out on a limb with this decision. I know you'd do a superb job with the solo, but it's clear God wants this other person to do it." And at that, I teared up at God's kindness and mercy. This person will be so blessed by Lisa's obedience. And I knew, in my heart of hearts, that Lisa wasn't alone on that limb. That God was there, holding it steady, not just for her, but for me and the other singer and the people who will hear and be moved by the song when it's done. Because this whole issue isn't about the song. It's about obedience. And letting go of ego and self to embrace God's direction.

I don't know if the Diva is dead for good. I hope she is. But I know this, if God calls me to a limb, I want to follow Lisa's example. I want to climb out there, seemingly in midair with no safety net. Because when you're out on a limb with God, even if you fall, He'll catch you.

And, in His will and way...

...He'll show you how to fly. 

Peace, all.

Karen

The Joy of Daily Bread

A couple I know and love has asked me to fast and pray, seeking God's help for them to find jobs. As with so many today, both are now unemployed. Don and I faced something similar at the beginning of 2011--first I lost my job, then he lost his. By God's grace, Don found another job and I've been able to build my business as an editor, writer, speaker, and literary agent. We're not making anywhere near what we were making a year ago, but we're doing okay. Again, by God's grace. Because I'll tell you, sometimes I have no clue how we're going to make it. But now, a little over a year later, I'm starting to see that it's not about knowing, but trusting. In God and His provision. Don and I are learning to do our part, to do what we can, to work hard, but we're also learning not to give in to fear when things seem bad. As the prayer of prayers says, we trust him to "give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread." We don't look for a storehouse of bread. We don't ask for enough to stockpile. Because when we had more than we needed, guess what we trusted in? Yup, the stockpile. Now? 


Now we trust the Giver of all things. And when we receive the daily bread, we know it's enough. and each time we learn that lesson anew, I'm reminded that no matter what circumstances tell us, there is an eternal truth at work here: God is sufficient. And that makes the daily bread sweet, indeed.


So that's what I'm praying for my friends, that God's sufficiency will make itself known in their hearts and minds. That He will cloak them with His peace and confidence, and that He will meet them where they're at. That He'll meet their needs. I'm praying God's best for them, and I'm praying for sweet, sufficient daily bread. 


And while I'm at it, I'll pray that for you, too .


Peace, friends. 


Karen

How, Then, Shall We Live?

The answer for me, at least lately, has been:

In anger.

Resentment.

Frustration.

Rage.

So many things have gone wrong in the last few weeks. Things that left me feeling God had stepped out and forgot to step back in. And so I raged. And whined. And kicked and screamed. And bit by bit, the anger simmered, then boiled over. My spirit turned black as tar and weighed me down until all I wanted to do was hide out, under the covers, not even peering at each new day that dawned. Because knew...

New day meant new struggles.

Even this morning, I crawled out of bed, fighting the weight of dread that clung to me like quicksand. What would come today? What new, horrid thing would slam into me, shattering my heart and hope, fueling the roiling, scorching anger within?

What came?

Words from friends, fellow travelers on this rocky, rugged path. Not platitutdes, but gut-level truth. Truth that rocked me, turned my angry, stiff-necked stance into wobbling rubber until my knees at last folded and I went down. Not to defeat...

But to surrender.

God hasn't stepped out. He's here. In the midst of every, ugly moment. In the face of every assault and strike the enemy makes to undermine, engrage, and debilitate. All of which he'd done oh-so-well in the last few weeks. Because instead of turning my eyes to the ONE, I focused on the one: me. On all I was losing. On the cost to me. And in so doing, I lost sight of what really mattered.

And so I start again. Today. This moment.

And God, who has never left me, not for a beat of hummingbird wings, opens His arms and wraps me in them, whispering forgiveness and peace.

My prayer today is this: May we find Truth in the trials. May we turn our eyes from outrage, anger, and fear and focus instead on Christ. Broken, bleeding, giving all for us. Dying, forgiving with last breath. Risen, restored, returned to the glory that is His--and ours, though Him.

Nothing that comes to us is a surprise to Him. Nothing is beyond His power and control. Nothing is greater than He, wider than His love, deeper than His will. We are His.

And that is enough. No, more than that...

It's amazing.

So how, then, shall we live? In wonder. In grace and peace. In the spirit of Charles Gabriel, when he penned these words:

I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus, the Nazarene. And wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned unclean.

How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be: "How marvelous! How wonderful is my Savior's love for me!"

For me, it was, in the garden He prayed, "Not my will, but Thine." He had no tears for His own griefs, but sweat drops of blood for mine. In pity the angels beheld Him, and came from the world of light to comfort Him in the sorrows He bore for my soul that night.

How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be: "How marvelous! How wonderful is my Savior's love for me!"

He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own. He bore the burden to Calvary and suffered and died alone. When with the ransomed in glory His face I at last shall see, 'twill be my joy through the ages to sing of His love for me!

How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be: "How marvelous! How wonderful is my Savior's love for me!"

God's Gift of Friends

Have you considered how wondrous a gift friends are? How rare it is to find someone who is willing to let you into her life, and to be present for you through thick and thin? Scripture tells us that it's not good to be alone, that we all need fellowship, to gather together and encourage and exhort one another.

It's so easy today to let life fly by without stopping and celebrating those God has brought to us, those who share our journey. So I challenge you to stop, right now, and think about the friends you have. Those who have come alongside you, who have become a part of the fabric of your life.

I'm thinking of one such friend too. The amazing Julee Schwarzburg, who is celebrating her birthday today.

Or rather, those who know her are celebrating it. Because she's one of those rare people who warms and blesses everyone she meets. So this is for my pal, Julee.

A friend who speaks truth to me when I need to hear it, but does so with love and tenderness.

A heart-sister who God has used, oh so well, to bring me encouragement, wisdom, and laughter.

A fellow sojourner who has known me in my darkest moments and still loves me. Without reservation.

Julee, who shares my penchant for adventure, travel, deep conversation,

and moments of silliness.

Who has a powerful love for Scripture,

words and writing, for authors and readers.

Who knows what it is to walk a path of faith and obedience, even when it's terribly difficult.

Thanks, God, for the gift of Julee.

And thanks, Julee, for being who you are--and enriching my life in more ways than I can express.

Living on the Edge

Life used to be so simple.

I had a job, Don had a job. Regular paychecks floated into our bank account. If we wanted to buy something, we did. (Though I confess Don wanted to do so far less than I.) We were, in a word, comfortable. And I knew we always would be. I was at the top of my field, Don was as good as it gets at what he does. We were set.

Uh huh.

Then came 2011.

January: I was laid off. BIG hit. Thank heaven for a generous severance package, but still. Laid off. So after 30 years working in publishing houses, building fiction lines, I decided to start my own

editing/writing/speaking/consulting business. And to join the Steve Laube Agency as a literary agent.

Jan-May: Things were going well. Editing work was lined up for the rest of the year. I'd already signed 8 wonderful clients. First proposals from them would be on their way to publishers in next few months. And though we were no longer comfortable, we were cautiously optimistic.

June: The security company Don worked for didn't get a big contract. The result? They laid off 7 people. Don among them. August 1st, he was out of a job. Another BIG hit.

Breathe in.

Out. Okay, no worries. Don had another job lined up already. With benefits! Yay.

End of July: The job Don had lined up? Didn't happen. Snafu on their end, but nothing they can do. Had to fill the job and Don's paperwork wasn't done. So no job, no benefits. That means an extra $850 a month for COBRA (health insurance). Uh huh. Okay. We can do that. Just one question:

HOW are we gonna do that??

Which brings us to today.

Comfortable? A thing of the past. Optimistic? Not as often as I'd like. Terrified? At times.

But here's the cool thing. As soon as I stop obsessing on all the worries and focus instead on the evidence of God's provision, peace arrives . For even as we've taken one hit after another, we've also been showered with one blessing after another. Unexpected encouragement. Serendipitous encounters. It's a kind of dance, and I'm trying to relax and let the Master lead, teach me the steps. His choreography isn't complex. "Follow Me," He says, and when I do, it's amazing how easily I sidestep the pits of fear and anxiety.

Life is no less complex. Or worrisome. But when my hand is in His, when I feel His arms around me, when I let my steps match His as best they can, I know we'll be okay. No matter what. Because it's not about security in things or finances or external circumstances.

It's about Him. And trust. And obedience.

No, life isn't simple any longer. But that's okay. Because I don't have to do this alone.

And neither do you.

Peace.

Karen

When Fear Knocks, Who Answers?

I hate to admit this, but I am, at the core, a fearful soul. I've struggled with it for as long as I can remember. I think part of it is having such a great imagination. I can "what if??" 'til the cows (and horses and piglets) come home. Have there been good reasons to fear? Sure. At least, what the world would call good. Stress with finances, relationships, health, and on and on. The list is endless.

I've always wished I were one of those courageous souls who never feels fear. Who trusts God so implicitly that fear just isn't part of the equation. Why, I've whined more times than I can count, can't I make the fear just go away??

Lately, it's the future that's become the drooling monster under my bed. It whispers to me when I first wake up. Low, snarling reminders that I no longer have a steady paycheck from an employer, that all it would take is one crisis to put us in the poorhouse, that disaster is perched on the edge of every day and we'll end up homeless, living in our car (because we'll have to sell the van) and there's NOTHINGYOUCANDOABOUT IT!

Thing is, there's an element of truth in all that. Always seems to be just enough truth in the enemy's lies to pierce the heart. After all, one crisis would put us in a serious bind. And it's true, I can't control what happens. So, for a moment, fear's tentacles snake around my heart and lungs, squeezing, squeezing, and I can't quite breathe...

Today has been a series of such moments. Though I know better, though I know God is in control of today and tomorrow, though the Bible's admonition to "Fear not!" rings in my heart, I still find myself giving in. If just for a moment.

But here's the cool thing: God understands. He knows my propensity for giving in, and He doesn't condemn me or criticize me. Instead, it's as though He's reaching out, taking me in His eternal Daddy arms, and soothing my worries. For example:

Today, as I was finishing up for the day, fear knocked on the door of my heart. Pounded, really. I started to look out the peephole, but TweetDeck chirruped, drawing my attention. I glanced down and saw this (courtesy of @revtrev):

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there. ~Unknown

I stopped. Read it again. And smiled. No need to answer the door. The knocking had stopped.

Yesterday, as I got into the car, fear tap, tap, tapped. I started to reach for the doorknob when the worship song on the radio caught my ear: "Be still and know that I am God." The song washed over me, and peace settled in. No need to answer the door. No one was there.

As I pondered these things, and numerous others that have happened over the past months, I realized something. Fear isn't going away. But that's okay. Because neither is God. And He trumps fear, every time. His provision, His power, His presence in my life are what control fear. HE controls it. I don't have to. All I have to do is keep my eyes on Him. Rest in the truth of who He is.

So let Fear knock. Let it pound and rattle and kick the door. I'm not answering. Instead, I'll let God do the honors. And lo...

No one will be there.

Peace, all.

Karen

Prepare.

That's my word for 2011. It's been big and bold in my mind and heart. A sense that something is coming. Something big and powerful. I can't explain it, but deep within is the certainty that it's time to get ready. It's been confirmed over and over. When I lost my job in January. And again, a few weeks later, when I was in Colorado Springs to visit my friend Kimberley Woodhouse and her family.

I went to church with Kim on Sunday morning. It was one of those beautiful old churches. The look and smell of the building all reminded me of my childhood as a pastor's daughter and granddaughter. It had the feel of home.

We arrived to discover there was a guest speaker. A police officer--a criminal investigator, to be precise. His message was titled "Live Courageously, Believe Courageously, Die Courageously." Interesting, but I confess, I didn't expect a lot. Can't tell you why. I was just...uninspired.

Then the man started speaking.

He shared that his life had been hindered by two deep fears: the second coming (because he knew he hadn't lived the life God wanted him to live), and sharing his faith. Then, 7 weeks earlier, some traffic mishaps told him there was something wrong. He went to the doctor and was diagnosed, out of the blue, with an inoperable brain tumor. With radiation/chemo, he'd have a year. Without, 3-5 months. He and his wife and kids prayed, and they chose without.

I have to confess, that took my breath away as he shared their decision. I had to ask myself what I would do. Would I go for the treatments, though they promised only a little more time? Would I want to spend my last days dealing with the effects of the treatments, which could be as devastating as the disease? I just didn't know.

This man went on to say that very day, once the decision was made, he knew what he wanted to do with his final days. They contacted area churches, asking if he could come speak, to share his story. And that's what he and his family have done, every weekend since the diagnosis. His wife goes to the podium with him, steadying him, keeping him on track. And he shares, as he did with us, how this death sentence has saved his life, here and in the eternal.

You see, this man is no longer afraid. God has come upon him and he's living his life according to what God deems right, not what he or his fears dictate. He said that while he regrets leaving his wife and his kids, his trust that God will meet all their needs is soul deep. He spoke with such...joy. And conviction. And since the diagnosis, he's shared Jesus with others. In churches. At work. In the line at the grocery store. As a result, he's led countless people to the Lord since his diagnosis, including a close friend, another detective, who was completely shut off to God. And then he asked us a question. He said, "Are you ready? Are you prepared for what God has in store for you?"

There it was again: Get ready. Be prepared.

As I listened, I wept. And the certainty inside just grew and grew.

Something's coming. I don't know what. I don't' know when. But I know that it's coming. And like this amazing man, I need to prepare myself, my heart and spirit, my life and activities. I need to seek God's path and leading in deeper ways than ever before. I need to prepare. My mind and my heart. For what God has planned.

Peace, all.

Karen

So there I was, sitting in Nashville, when it came to me: My word for 2011. The word I was to focus on and learn about. The word God breathed into my heart and mind.

Prepare.

I didn't have a clue what it was about, but that was okay. I knew the meaning would become clear as the year unfolded. What I didn't realize what that clarity would begin the next day.

I'd come to Nashville for meetings at the publishing house where I worked. Prepare echoed in my mind as soon as I woke up on Friday. It resonated through me as I drove to the office. It undergirded me when I walked into my boss's office, saw her face--and knew. The economic downturn was about to hit close to home. In fact, home was the Bull's-eye. I was laid off. In 30 years in publishing, I've never lost a job. I've changed jobs, even left publishing houses to go freelance, but never lost a job. As I absorbed this new reality, I waited for the anger, the panic to hit. It never did. Instead, one word echoed through me:

Prepare.

As I've gone through the following weeks, that word is always there. As is an amazing sense of peace. And I've realized something. Being prepared isn't just about me doing what I need to do. It's about God working within me. He was preparing me without my even knowing it. He breathed His word--and His peace--deep inside me. I don't know what's going to happen. Don't know what the future holds. But I know God is here, walking beside me. I feel His hand on my shoulder. In those moments when fear seeks to break through, I am enveloped in His arms. I feel His breath on my face as He whispers "Peace, be still."And that is enough.

He is enough.

He confirmed that in the most amazing way. Through a man I'd never met before. I'll tell you all about that, too.

Until then, let me leave you with this thought: Nothing that happens to us is a surprise to God. You will never hear Him say, "Oh, wow. Didn't see that coming." I can tell you, from the midst of a detour I wouldn't have chosen, that you don't need to be afraid. The God who created the world is present, and He is in control. The peace that has settled over me these last few weeks is not the norm for me. But it is the norm for God.

Peace.

Karen

Get Ready--and Hang On!

Each year a group of friends and I seek a word or phrase from God to focus on during the next year. It's a kind of theme, if you will, that we hold in our hearts and minds. My words have varied. One year it was Rest. Another, Integrity. Sometimes I know why my word is what it is. Other times, not a clue. But always, by the end of the year, the word's meaning has become abundantly clear. It's like a puzzle revealing itself piece-by-piece. And when the last piece is fit in place, what what may have seemed like random bits of chaos during the year crystallize into clear, wondrous focus. And what remains is truth. Beauty.

I started seeking my word toward the end of 2010. I usually have a sense of it by December. This time, though, I came up empty. No word. No phrase. I prayed and listened, read Scripture and devotions, talked with friends and family, and...nothing. I've learned over the years that there are times that God is silent for a reason, so I just waited.

Then, in late January, I was in Nashville for meetings at the publishing house where I've worked the past 5 years. One night, as I sat in the hotel room watching TV, something whispered through my heart.

Get ready.

I actually looked around to see if someone was there. Finding no source of what I was sure I'd heard, I turned back to the TV. And it came again.

Get Ready. Prepare.

It was so clear, so definite, that I turned off the TV and closed my eyes. Waiting. Those two phrases echoed through me, over and over. And when I opened my eyes, I knew. I had my word for 2011.

Prepare.

I had no idea for what, but I knew, as well as I knew anything, that was my word. I had such...peace about it. Such certainty. "Okay, God, let's go." I wasn't even sure what I meant by that. All I knew was I was ready to follow. To be prepared.

Good thing, too. Because the ride was on. Started the very next day, in fact. I'll tell you all about it.

Soon.

Peace, friends.

Karen

A New Start

There is someone close to me, someone I love deeply, who is hurting today. He longs to reconnect with a family member who, many years ago, walked away. My loved one has felt the loss ever since, as though a part of him was ripped out, taken away to a place always just out of reach. Though he seldom talked about it, I knew he never gave up hope of a one-day reconciliation. Of relationship restored, hearts healed and forgiven. It's been a dream, a prayer, because he hasn't known where his beloved family member is. Not for years and years.

Until this weekend.

When my loved one told me what happened, I could only listen, amazed. He'd been at work, walking along, when he "heard" a voice whisper to him: "Today, you'll see her." He had no idea what that meant, and yet, deep within, he knew it was important. When he was able, he started searching the internet, not sure at first what he was even looking for. But the urging was there, to look for the one lost to him so long ago. He'd done that often, searched for this beloved one, always to no avail. But that night it was as though Someone had His hand on my loved one's fingers, guiding the search. And then...

The lost was found.

Right there, in front of him, a picture of his family member.

I don't know where all this will lead, if reconciliation is even possible. I pray it is. But regardless of what else happens, this truth has struck me deep:

God is at work.

Whatever longing dwells in our hearts, whatever hurts and regrets, whatever deep need pulls at us--He knows. And more than that, He's at work. For my loved one. For me. For you. He is, ever and always, concerned with whatever concerns us. Because we are--as inconceivable as this may be--precious to Him. To the God of the universe. The Creator of all.

And that, my friends, leaves me awestruck.

Peace to you.

Karen

Speaking of Parents...

81 years ago today Frederick Olan Sapp, Jr. made his entrance into this world...

...and boy! Is the world richer for it.

I freely admit it: I'm biased. But that doesn't change the fact that he's the best dad ever. His devotion to our family has always been his first priority.

I got my sense of humor from Dad...

...and my love of God, family...

...church, and music...

nature and animals.

Dad taught me the value of work and play,

and to savor friendships...

...shared laughter...

...and food!

Together, Dad and Mom taught me that marriage

is about respect and kindness, service and surrender.

That marriages last when built on a solid foundation of faith in God...

...and that love means not only saying you're sorry,

but being willing to be the first to say it.

So here's to Dad, to 81 years of life well lived, love well loved, and lessons well learned. Here's to a man of God and faith, who has enriched all who know him.

Happy birthday, Dad.

I love you.

Karen