I've always wished I were one of those courageous souls who never feels fear. Who trusts God so implicitly that fear just isn't part of the equation. Why, I've whined more times than I can count, can't I make the fear just go away??
Lately, it's the future that's become the drooling monster under my bed. It whispers to me when I first wake up. Low, snarling reminders that I no longer have a steady paycheck from an employer, that all it would take is one crisis to put us in the poorhouse, that disaster is perched on the edge of every day and we'll end up homeless, living in our car (because we'll have to sell the van) and there's NOTHINGYOUCANDOABOUT IT!
Thing is, there's an element of truth in all that. Always seems to be just enough truth in the enemy's lies to pierce the heart. After all, one crisis would put us in a serious bind. And it's true, I can't control what happens. So, for a moment, fear's tentacles snake around my heart and lungs, squeezing, squeezing, and I can't quite breathe...
Today has been a series of such moments. Though I know better, though I know God is in control of today and tomorrow, though the Bible's admonition to "Fear not!" rings in my heart, I still find myself giving in. If just for a moment.
But here's the cool thing: God understands. He knows my propensity for giving in, and He doesn't condemn me or criticize me. Instead, it's as though He's reaching out, taking me in His eternal Daddy arms, and soothing my worries. For example:
Today, as I was finishing up for the day, fear knocked on the door of my heart. Pounded, really. I started to look out the peephole, but TweetDeck chirruped, drawing my attention. I glanced down and saw this (courtesy of @revtrev):
Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there. ~Unknown
I stopped. Read it again. And smiled. No need to answer the door. The knocking had stopped.
Yesterday, as I got into the car, fear tap, tap, tapped. I started to reach for the doorknob when the worship song on the radio caught my ear: "Be still and know that I am God." The song washed over me, and peace settled in. No need to answer the door. No one was there.
As I pondered these things, and numerous others that have happened over the past months, I realized something. Fear isn't going away. But that's okay. Because neither is God. And He trumps fear, every time. His provision, His power, His presence in my life are what control fear. HE controls it. I don't have to. All I have to do is keep my eyes on Him. Rest in the truth of who He is.
So let Fear knock. Let it pound and rattle and kick the door. I'm not answering. Instead, I'll let God do the honors. And lo...
No one will be there.