Thursday, December 31, 2009
Amazing, isn't it, how quickly days...months...YEARS go by? I can't believe we're on the cusp of another new year. It's so easy to get so involved in the day-to-day "stuff" that you miss the days going by. I've been guilty of that this last year. Right up until the week before Thanksgiving, when I ended up in the ER with what doctors thought was a "cardiac event." Tests showed I had a aneurysm forming in my heart, and that I'd had a "silent" heart attack at some point in the past. So they set up a heart cath test to see what would need to be done to fix whatever damage was there. It was unexpected news, but oddly enough I wasn't upset or frightened. I had the strongest sense of peace. Of certainty that I was in God's hands and all would be well.
Sure enough, as soon as the heart cath was completed, the cardiologist leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Karen, your heart is beautifully perfect!"
He was amazed. My GP was amazed. All the tests showed damage. Showed I was heading to probable open-heart surgery. My GP just shook his head. "When I think someone has heart issues, I'm 99.99% right," he said. Thing is, I don't doubt him. I believe the tests and all of that were right. I felt what they showed: that my heart wasn't right. So what happened? Well...
Ever seen open-heart surgery on TV? You know that moment when they turn off the bypass machine and the surgeon uses his finger to give the heart a thump, and the heart jumps back to life? That moment has always fascinated me. And now, Don, my sweet hubby, and I believe that, for His purposes, God did that for me. That He reached down and gave my heart a little thump--and fixed the problems. In fact, since I came home from the hospital, I've had the distinct sense of something being different. Like sunshine emitting from the inside out. And I've felt better than I have for years. And you know something, that's changed me.
I'm seeing things again. Delighting in little wonders, cherishing moments of joy and laughter, living each moment with a sense of gratitude. Because when you've been given a gift like this--especially when you know you don't deserve it--you can't help but open your eyes every morning with a sense of gratitude and joy.
So as we come to the end of 2009, this is my prayer for you: that you will find new wonder, new gratitude, in every day. That you will SEE life, not just go through the motions. And that you will find yourself trusting in the One who holds not only you and me in His hands, but who holds eternity.