More Notes from the Road

Wonderful, wonderful Palm Sunday service here. It's been a bit cold, but we sat outside anyway. I snapped a shot to show you what it looks like where we were sitting, at the back of the auditoriumand realized I caught Robin Jones Gunn, Patsy Clairmont, and Jan Silvious sitting there on the second bench/pew from the back (Robin's peeking behind Patsy to grin at me, Jan's on the other side of Patsy). (Okay, okay, the picture's so small you can't tell it's them. Trust me. It is. Really!) Anyway, it was nice outside. We could hear everything from inside the auditorium, and we got to listen to the wind whispering through the Redwoods all through the service. At one point I looked up and the tops of the trees seemed to be dancing as we lifted our voices in songs of praise. What an amazing setting for thanking God for all He's done for us.

Now, you notice the blue sky in the background? First day we arrived here, Dave Talbott, the conference host, warned us that bad weather was on it's way. Not just cold, but by Sunday we'd be clobbered with hail! Were we worried? Not on your life. We just said we'd pray the bad weather away. Mount Hermon has that effect on people. All this beauty in nature around us reminds who is really in control. So we determined to pray the bad weather away. The temp dipped, but every day so far here's what we've seen:


We've had blue skies and even some sunshine. Not a single hailstone has shown up. Yay!

I'll fill you in on more of Mount Hermon later. For now, let's get back to our adventures on our way to the conference grounds. As I said, Robin and Marion were coming in a day later than planned, so Julee and I stayed another day with Francine, Rick, and dear ol' Shabah. So Wednesday dawned bright and early, bringing another call from Robin. The doctor told her she was in no shape to travel, so she couldn't come to SanFran to play with us. After some weeping and wailing and whining on our part, we told Robin of course she should stay home the extra few days to gain strength before coming to the writers' conference. We promised to take good care of Marion, rang off, loaded up the car, and hit the road for SanFran.

On the drive down Julee, who'd met Marion when she went to England last year with Robin, regaled me with stories of Marion. "You'll love her! Just watch for a pixie of a woman with a crown of white hair and a lovely smile."

An hour or so later, we'd arrived at our hotel, The Stanford Court, which was ensconced on Nob Hill. With an hour or so until Marion's planned arrival, at which time we'd hie ourselves across the street to tea at the Fairmont hotel, Julee and I went to check the lay of the land. The cable car stop was right on the corner, so we hopped aboard (I kept waiting for the Rice-a-Roni song to start!), and rode down the hill to the financial district. Happy day, there were Starbuck's galore! So we stocked up on coffee, walked around a smidge, then back on the cable car to go await Marion.

Well, her arrival time came. And left. An hour past the scheduled arrival, I went to cancel the tea. I mean, sure, Marion would probably be game to try and make it. After all, she's English and tea is always welcome. But Julee and I talked it over and we figured after the storms, delayed flights, possible turbulence on the LONG flight over, she just might prefer a bit of a rest.

As I was turning from the concierge's desk, in walked someone who fit Julee's description to a 'T' walked in. It was Marion, and she was all Julee has said and more. Fun, in a far better mood than I would be after all she'd endured, and game for an adventure. So once she was settled in her room, we made our way back to the cable cars and went on to Fisherman's Warf. We walked and talked and soon felt like fast friends. Dinner was at Bubba Gumps--Yummy!--and then we grabbed a cab back to the hotel. Now, I must confess that the cab was...well...okay, let's be honest. DISGUSTING! I don't know what the stains on the seat were, nor did I ask. But short of levitating, there was no way to avoid sitting on them. Once we got back to the hotel we agreed. No more cabs! Some adventures just didn't deserve repeating.

I'll share more tomorrow, but the night is wearing on and I lead early morning worship here at Mount Hermon. Which means hitting the hay far earlier than usual to ensure I'm at least somewhat coherent at 7 a.m.

Blessings to you!

Karen

Notes from the Road

Wow, never meant to be out of touch this long. It's been a whirlwind trip so far. We had a great drive down to California. BEAUTIFUL weather, safe travel, and loads of conversation. Usually Julee and I put the music on, crank it up, and bop our way across whatever state we're in. I'd even loaded a CD holder with all the right genres, which basically is a mix of everything. But it's been awhile since we've been together, and we were so deep in conversation 5 hours had passed and we hadn't even looked at the CDs. I can't wait for the drive back home on Tuesday. So much has happened, you know we'll talk nonstop for the 7 1/2 hours home. (Probably a mercy to our hubbies that we've got those hours to talk ourselves out...)

We got on the road, Dutch Brother's coffee clutched in our paws, nice and early Sunday morning. Pulled into the driveway at Francine and Rick Rivers's home around 4:30 that afternoon. We'd planned on spending the night there, enjoying Francine and Rick's company, then it was on to San Francisco to meet author Robin Jones Gunn and a friend from England, Marion Stroud. Marion had never been in SanFran before, so we were all going to give her the grand tour for the next two days.

Well, best laid plans, and all that.

The worst storm in 20 years clobbered England, so Marion's flight was canceled. We were notified of this fact by a basso profundo Robin, who also informed us she had the respiratory flu and would also be flying in a day later. No worries, though. That gave us another day with Francine and Rick! We had a wonderful time talking and laughing, and playing with their dear German Shepherd, Shabah. He's 11 now, and his hind legs aren't cooperating so well...reminded me of my darlin' Bo. So it was a kind of bittersweet time, since it's entirely likely he won't be around a lot longer. But I had a blast playing with him all the same. He followed me to bed each night, toy in his massive mouth, big brown eyes pleading. I'd send him out of the room, only to have him peek around the corner, ever hopeful. You gotta love dogs!

Oops! Palm Sunday service here at Mount Hermon is about to begin. No way I'm going to miss Dave Talbott playing piano and organ, so I'll stop for now. But I promise I'll check back in soon and fill you in on the rest of the trip so far.

Peace and blessings to you this Palm Sunday.

Karen

California, Here I Come!

In case you wondered, the mini-workshops aren't done. But I've been immersed in getting ready for the Mount Hermon Christian Writers' Conference next week. My editor, Julee Schwarzburg (pictured at right), will be here Saturday, and then she and I will hit the road early Sunday morning. I can't wait. Julee has been one of my closest friends for lo these 20+ years, and we love going on road trips together. So I'm getting my workshop materials printed and ready, packing my suitcases, loading my CD folders with just the right traveling music (we love Bruce Willis's Bruno album), and basically going in frantic circles doing all of that and keeping up with work.

I'll check in during the conference to let you know how things are going. It's going to be loads of fun since not only will my editing compatriots be there, but a number of my B&H authors. This will be my 10th year at Mount Hermon, and I'll keep going as long as they want me. It is, in my opinion, the best writers' conference out there. Yes, there are others that are very good, but Mount Hermon is the best from the standpoint of workshops, faculty & staff, and location. I mean, you can't beat the Redwoods!

But you know the best thing about going to a writers' conference? You're surrounded by people as crazy as you are! These folks don't blink an eye when you tell them your characters kept you up all night arguing with you about where the story is going. And they're right with you when you bemoan the unpredictability of what will and won't sell. What's more, not one will roll his or her eyes when you jump into a lively debate about when to use semicolons.

So here's to the total package: a road trip with a good friend and spending time with people of like minds and insanity.

Peace!

Karen

Actions Speak Louder than Words--at least, they should!: Show, Don't Tell

I've been editing fiction for over 27 years. In all that time, I've discovered a number of issues almost all writers face, regardless of how much they've written or been published. If I had to pick the top issue I see over and over, it would be Show, Don't Tell.

What, you may ask, does that mean? It's actually pretty simple. It's the difference between telling us what someone is feeling, and letting us see it for ourselves through dialogue, action, and body language. For example:

Jack was so angry he could kill.

That, my friends, is telling. But...

Heat filled Jack's face, his chest, his blood. His fingers tightened on the gun. Nobody did this to him. Nobody. His finger caressed the trigger, and he smiled. The fools thought they'd taught him a lesson, but they'd see they were wrong. They'd see it all right...just before they died.

There you have showing. So why does this matter? Telling keeps your readers distant from the characters. Remember, fiction is all about making a connection. Your readers have to care about and be engaged with your characters. Even the bad guys. Showing takes us inside the characters, gets us under their skin, so we feel right along with them.

Does that mean telling is bad? Is it ever okay to tell? Of course. Quality fiction is about balance. Take a look again at the two sections above. What do you notice about them? Right! The showing section is much longer. If you showed every single thing in the book, you'd end up with around 1200 pages of showing. Sure, we'd be inside the characters' heads, but we'd be exhausted! So yes, there are times to tell. Such as:

• To give information. Sometimes you just want to move the story along, kind of like skipping a stone over the surface of the water. You're not trying to plumb the depths of the river, just get the stone as far as you can. That's called narrative summary, and that's a good time to tell.
• When a scene or section of a scene doesn't warrant showing. Not every aspect of every scene warrants showing. Let's say your characters are gathering for a funeral, and two of them are going to have a rip-roaring fight in the middle of the funeral. What part of that scene is most important? The fight, of course. Now obviously you could take the time (and word count) to show all the guest arriving, giving us their expressions and emotions, or what the funeral home and casket look like, etc. But that's not necessary. Better to give us all of that in narrative summary, peppering enough descriptives to give the sense and feel, but not digging deep until the crucial moment.
  

Knowing the difference between showing and telling is fairly easy. But what's hard is recognizing when you're telling. So here are a couple of key things to watch for:

The dreaded –ly adverbs.
"Get out of my house!" Alice said angrily.

Ah-ah-ah! You're telling us she's angry. Instead, show the emotion, whatever it may be, through actions or punctuation. In the example above, the exclamation point tells us Alice is being vehement, but it's not clear if she's angry or frightened.

Alice grabbed his grandmother's vase--the one she knew he loved--and threw it with all her strength. It missed his head by a fraction of an inch and shattered against the wall, the shards as sharp and piercing as Alice's words. "Get out of my house!"

One excellent resource for this, as well as other elements of quality fiction, is Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, by Renni Browne and Dave King (Writers' Digest Books). If you don't have a copy of this book on your shelf, get it today! Self-Editing recommends cutting virtually every –ly adverb one you write. It's surprisingly easy to do so. Just use your search-and-replace function, searching for ly with the different punctuation marks after it (ly. ly, ly? ly!) and ly with a space after it. You can get rid of most, if not all, of them in no time.

R.U.E.: Resist the Urge to Explain
Another thing to watch for is author intrusion, which happens when you give us emotion and with, in, of, etc. (e.g., she screamed in frustration). Too often we write great descriptions, then give the reader a recap, just in case they missed the point. Not only is that telling, it's underestimating your reader. Far better, though, to let your characters' words and actions stand on their own. Consider the following:

• Alice leaned forward eagerly. "I think he's a spy!"
• When the kitten fell off the chair, Bob laughed in an amused way.
• Jean's forehead creased in confusion.
• Dan threw the book at her with an angry toss.

Where is the explaining there? Right! Eagerly, in an amused way, in confusion, with an angry toss. All of those are telling, and all are unnecessary. When you come across an explanation, cut it. If the emotion is still shown and clear, the telling wasn't needed. If it isn't shown, then rewrite to show without explaining. So...

• Alice leaned forward. "I think he's a spy!" Leaning forward implies eagerness, so this works just by cutting the -ly adverb.
  
• When the kitten fell off the chair, Bob laughed. Okay, yes, Bob has a warped sense of humor. But we can see that just fine without the editorial of in an amused way. What's that? Laughter isn't always amused? True enough. Sometimes it's wry, or angry, or sarcastic. That brings up a point to consider with showing: word choices. How about if we used another word like chuckled or chortled or giggled or laughed 'til his sides hurt. One of the keys to showing well is choosing the right words to convey the exact emotion.
• Jean's forehead creased. Again, the action communicates the confusion, but if you want to be sure it's clear that she's confused, you could add a question from Jean to show her confusion.
  
• Dan threw the book at her. Here, too, the action shows anger. One doesn't generally throw things at people if they're happy. (At least, I hope not!) If you want to spice it up a bit, you could show the impact when the book hits something, or use a word like heaved, or add a muttered oath…etc.

One last word on showing: Don't fall into cliches. If your character is angry, don't tell us he's "mad as a hornet." Find a way to make the old new again by putting your spin on it. For example, I had the dubious pleasure of poking a hornets' nest when I was a kid. Yeah, what can I say, I had more chutzpah than brains. So I could write this as "mad as a hive-poked hornet" or "mad as a swarming mass of hornets whose hive has just been invaded by a stick."

All righty, then, here's an exercise to try. Choose two of the following and write a scene that shows each:

• Happiness
• Joy
• Anger
• Fear
• Danger
• Revenge
• Comfort
• Depression

Again, feel free to post your examples. And have fun!