Not-So-Common Courtesy

This could be a rant. Easily. Soooo easily. But I won't do that to you. Instead, let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, there was a weary princess who worked far too many hours.One day she realized she had to stop her work and run to the royal post office. So off I...er, uh...she went. Of course, it was a day like any other in the kingdom of Justmyluck, so the line at the post office was long. Reaaaallly long. Like any good princess, she took the situation in stride and joined the line, only to find herself struggling not to listen in as the noblewoman (who was FAR from noble) in front of her talked, full volume, into the cell phone connected to her ear. Now I don't know about you, but our princess was taught that it's only common sense (&courtesy) to speak to the people around you when in public. But there this thirty-something woman stood, talking away. Without lowering her voice. Not caring one whit that she was forcing everyone in the room to listen in.

The princess glanced at the couple behind me...I mean, her... and their pained expressions matched the princess's own reaction. She wanted SO bad to turn back to the woman and blurt out, in her most Princessly tone, "Puh-lease! Have mercy! Don't make us listen to another inane word!" Instead, our dear princess held to decorum and settled for praying the line would move at a far speedier pace than the geriatric-tortoise-crawl customary at the post office. Thankfully, the woman's turn came and she moved up to the counter. The good princess let loose a relieved sigh. Surely the woman would hang--and shut--up now!

No such luck. The woman sidled up the counter and handed her large envelope to the clerk without stopping her conversation for even a second. She didn't look at the clerk. No eye contact, no recognition of a human standing there. When the clerk asked if she wanted postage, the woman tossed him an annoyed grimace and a cursory nod, then went on with her phone conversation.

By this time the people behind the princess were in full mutter mode. To his credit, the royal postal clerk handled the whole thing with grace and class. When the utterly oblivious woman snatched her receipt from his hand and headed out the door, the people in line cheered.

No fooling. They clapped and cheered.

Sad thing is, the woman didn't even noticed. She just kept walking and talking on that cursed cell. The princess...oh, forget it! I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but actually, I've seen it over and over in the last year. People more interested in cell phone conversations than in being courteous to those actually around them. People in their cars, talking away, cutting others off, almost causing accidents because they aren't focused on driving. People in movie theaters--and yes, in church!--who answer cell calls and talk away. People in lines or even checking out at stores, utterly ignoring the clerks as they chatter into cells.

I don't get it. What happened to common courtesy? What happened to looking someone in the eye and at least acknowledging they exist? What happened to paying attention when you're behind the wheel of what can become a several-ton lethal weapon??

Okay, fine. I'm ranting. Sorry about that. I just find it so...sad. How so many in our gotta-have-it-all society seem to have forgotten the importance of treating others with respect. How I forgot that for awhile. Yes, I'm just as guilty as the next person. In fact, I was the one who, a year ago, caused an accident--one I shouldn't have walked away from--because I was talking on a cell phone while driving. By God's grace, I survived. And no one else was hurt. But that incident was a definite wake-up call.

So I've made a decision. I can't control what others do, but I can make a change in my own life.

• No more talking on the cell phone when I'm driving. (Haven't done so since the accident. Folks, I could have killed someone! So could any of you. It only takes a heartbeat of inattention for lives to change forever.) If the phone rings, I let it go to voicemail. Then call whomever it is back as soon as I'm off the road. Hands free or not, you're still distracted. So as far as I'm concerned, the only rule for cell phone usage while driving is HANDS OFF!
  
• If I discover I'm talking to someone who is using a cell phone while they're driving, I ask them to call me back when they're parked. For the same reasons as above. I don't want to be the distraction that could end up hurting someone.
  
• No more talking on the cell when there's a human in front of me. I will focus on the people around me and treat them with respect.
• If I do have to take a call when I'm around others, I will walk away so that I'm not forcing anyone to listen to my conversation. If it means stepping out of a line, so be it. If it means going outside for privacy, fine. My conversation may interest me, but there's little chance it will do anything but irritate--and impose upon--others.
  
• No more using the cell phone because I'm bored. I use it to make calls I NEED to make. It's a tool, that's all. It's not the center of my world.
  

So there you have it. My plan for keeping the cell phone in its place. And keep me focused on treating people the way my sweet mother taught me to treat them: with courtesy and respect.

Peace to you today.

"Princess" Karen

A New Member of the Ball Household!

Well, we have someone to be thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday! She's little and furry and utterly adorable. And I wanted you to be among the first to meet her. So (drum roll, please) please say hello to Dasha, our new "baby":


Dasha is a 6 1/2 week old Siberian husky who is full of energy and has no trouble whatsoever handling the big doggies all around her. We brought her home Thursday, and are having an absolute blast.

Why another dog, you ask? Simple, on Monday we discovered our beloved Bodhan, who we call Bo, had a tumor. A bad one. In a bad spot. Before I even had time to absorb this news, the vet had Bo in surgery. They removed most of the tumor, but not all. So now it's a wait-and-see proposition. If the tumor reappears, which the vet said it most likely will, it will be time to bid our darlin' boy good-bye. He's just too old, at 14, for repeated surgeries. Way too hard on him. The thought of losing this dear, sweet boy--who just showed up on our doorstep 12 years ago--shattered my heart. So Don and I talked it over and decided it was time to do something we'd been talking about for some time: bring home a puppy so sweet Bo can help us train it. And believe me, he's been doing just that! He's nudging and leading and being as patient as Job with this little firecracker. It's wonderful to watch. And for her part, Dasha (whose name, like Bo's, is Russian and means "God's gift") is giving Bo new energy. He was dancing around playing with her this morning. Just made my heart smile.

Our other puppies, Dad's 95-lb German shepherd and our nutsoid Aussie-terrier mix, Dakota, have warmed right up to little Dasha. We were worried Dakota, who is a shelter dog and has...um..."issues, might be a problem. But as you can see, she's adjusting quite well! So we have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season.

• Bo is still with us. And we'll cherish each day we have with him. Though 12 years doesn't seen anywhere near enough time with this four-legged angel, I realize it's a lot longer than many get with their beloved pets.
  
• Our new little girl has brought great joy to all of us.
• The cycle of life goes on, remind me every day that God is present, He's at work, and we can rest in His care and provision.

I pray this holiday season has been one of blessing for you, too. That you've seen God in the faces and hearts of those around you, that you've felt His love and peace, and that you're reminded, each day, that He is God.

He is in control.

You can rest secure in that truth.

Peace and puppy love to you today.

Karen B.

Would You Stand for Christ?

I love my family. We all get along great (most of the time), and enjoy being together (as you can see in the picture to the right. That's my older brother and his son mugging for the camera with me...yes, we're a family of goofballs). They're a part of me, and I love that. I love talking and playing and being with them. I'd hate life without them.

Which brings me to some interesting conversations I've had lately. Conversations that have challenged my mind and heart. But let me start at the beginning. Or, as Inigo Montoya says in The Princess Bride (arguably one of the best movies of all time), "No, there is too much. Let me sum up!"

In my day job as an acquisitions editor, I've been working with a new author (well, new to me), James David Jordan. His work-in-progress, tentatively titled Forsaken, has his protagonist facing an issue that Christians seem to enjoy discussing: Would you ever deny Christ?

Of course, American Christians seldom have to deal with this issue in real life. But...what if?

• What if you were told you'd lose your job unless you denied Christ as the savior of the world?
• What if someone kidnapped your child, threatening to kill that child unless you made a public denial of Christ as the Son of God?
• What if someone broke into your home, put a gun to your family's heads, and said unless you deny Christ, they're all dead. Not you, just them.

I've asked a number of people, and I confess I was stunned at the response. The majority said they'd deny Christ.

"He'd know I didn't mean it, so what would it matter?"
"Everyone who heard me say it would know it was just to save my family. God would understand that!"
"There's no way I'd let my child die. I don't care what it cost me."

Okay. I believe not having children hinders me in truly comprehending what this would do to a parent, to choose Christ over a child. But still, I can't help wonder...

• The Christians in the coliseums had this same out. The whole, "They'll know I don't mean it" thing. There has to be a reason they chose to die rather than deny.
• Other ancient martyrs certainly had this same out. So why didn't they take it?
• Believers in other parts of the world have this same out, and yet they stand for the truth of who Christ is. Above all.

Think it's not happening today? Just do a search on the web for modern-day martyrs, and you'll find story after story of Christians in Turkey, the Sudan, North Korea, Iraq, and multitudes of other places being tortured, crippled, and murdered for failing to deny Christ. And yet, so many American Christians seem to think it's excusable in extreme circumstances because they "wouldn't mean it."

Words have power. Saying you don't mean something, doesn't change the fact that you've said it. Doesn't negate the impact of letting words pass your heart and lips. You know what that's like. How often have someone's words hurt you? An apology can help, but no apology can erase the fact that hateful or hurtful words are spoken. Being careless with words isn't only foolish, it's dangerous.

Consider Matthew 10, starting in chapter 28:

28 “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

32 “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.

34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’

37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. 38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. 39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Whoa. Tough words. Tough truths. And yes, I know you can't text-proof Scripture, taking things out of context. But still, was the situation when Christ spoke these words any different than it would be now? Regardless of the stakes, you're being given a choice. So what would you do?

I understand those who choose to save their families. I do. My family is precious to me, and the thought of watching someone kill any of them because I refused to deny Christ...makes my stomach hurt. But my family is firm in their faith in God. No matter what happens here, I know we'll be together eternity.

Could I live with them dying because of something I wouldn't do. I don't know. I have a hard time getting my mind around such a thought. But I know this: I can't live without God. And to deny Him...that would tear me apart. Because no matter what the circumstances, I keep coming back to this:

Denying Christ is not a small thing.

To think you can do it, that you can excuse it with "But I didn't mean it" seems careless. Cavalier. And utterly unbiblical. Of course, I pray none of us ever has to face this kind of situation. But after these recent conversations, I'm convinced American believers need to be talking about it more. Reasoning together about what it means--really means--to stand for Christ.

No matter what.



Karen