Who Hit Fast Forward??

Remember when we were kids, and time seemed to draaaaaggg on by? Days seemed unending, overflowing with spare time to do whatever we wanted.

I miss those days.

I just took one of my dearest friends to the airport this morning for a flight home. (Had her there at 4 a.m.!! Shows how much I love her!) She arrived 10 days ago, and I was so excited. Ten whole days to savor her laughter, her presence, her wisdom, all face-to-face. Ten days to sip coffee and share our thoughts, whether deep or crazy. Ten. Whole. Days.

I remember when ten days seemed an eternity. Now? I'm sitting here wondering where the heck they went! How can they be over already?? Seems like all I did was blink, and it was time to say good-bye. As I sat here missing her already, I thought about all we did over these last ten days. We took day trips to lakes and covered bridges, spent a few days with another dear friend, had lots of talks and coffee, played cribbage, talked some more and laughed and laughed. It was, really, a wonderful visit. But it wasn't enough time.

Seems, nowadays, like there's never enough time.

To be with friends.
To cherish family.
To soak in God's beauty.
To revel in my dogs' adoration.
To listen to music.
To read that ever growing pile of books.

To do any of the things I want to do.

As I thought about it, I realized something. I may not be able to stop time, but I can sure decide how I'm going to use it. I can let it all just pass me by, then regret the things I didn't do. Or I can purpose, each day, to take the time for the things that really matter. Whether it's watching a movie with my wonderful dad, sharing a cuppa with my hubby, being with my friends, or just throwing a ball for the doggies...I can choose to take moments each day to savor all the blessings God has given me. I don't ever, EVER, want to look back on my life (what's left of it, anyway) and sigh, "I just didn't have time for that."

I've got the time. No matter what I say or how stressed I feel, the simple fact is, I have the time.

I just need to use it more wisely. And I'm going to.

Starting today.

Peace, friends.

Karen

Speaking of Parents...

81 years ago today Frederick Olan Sapp, Jr. made his entrance into this world...

...and boy! Is the world richer for it.

I freely admit it: I'm biased. But that doesn't change the fact that he's the best dad ever. His devotion to our family has always been his first priority.

I got my sense of humor from Dad...

...and my love of God, family...

...church, and music...

nature and animals.

Dad taught me the value of work and play,

and to savor friendships...

...shared laughter...

...and food!

Together, Dad and Mom taught me that marriage

is about respect and kindness, service and surrender.

That marriages last when built on a solid foundation of faith in God...

...and that love means not only saying you're sorry,

but being willing to be the first to say it.

So here's to Dad, to 81 years of life well lived, love well loved, and lessons well learned. Here's to a man of God and faith, who has enriched all who know him.

Happy birthday, Dad.

I love you.

Karen

Love is Ap-parent

Day 10 of 30-Day Challenge to Be Grateful to and Pray for Our Military

I was just talking the other day with my dad about the times my younger brother and I headed off for college and when older brother joined the Marines. He was saying how he hadn't been ready for any of us to leave. That for all that he and Mom knew we'd be okay, that God was with us, he hadn't wanted us to go. Nor had Mom. Gave me a glimpse into just how hard parenting is. How difficult to do all you can to make your child into a young man or woman of independence, and they, one day, to have to let them go their own way. I could tell how hard that was for Dad.

And it got me thinking...

What must it be like for parents today whose children are in the military. To know your son or daughter is headed into the path of danger. For some, danger in the extreme. To know this may be the last time you see this child you love more than even you can fathom. The men and women who serve, now and in the past, show great courage and fidelity to their country. But it seems to me there are other warriors right here at home, warriors we don't think of often enough.

Today, every time I see my dad's smile, hear his deep voice, savor his laughter, I'm going to pray for the parents of those who are in harm's way. And right now, I just want to say to that mom or dad whose child is deployed, thank you. Thank you for raising a son or daughter of honor and courage. Thank you for letting them go to do what they feel called to do. God bless you, each and every one. And please know there's someone in Oregon praying that all your sons and daughters return home safe and sound.

Peace, all.

Karen

K-9s on the Home Front

Day 7 of the 30-Day Challenge to Show Gratitude to and Pray for Our military

Those brave men and women who've chosen to serve on our behalf in the military leave so much behind when they deploy. Today I want to remember certain family members who can't express their sadness, the depth of how they miss the one who is gone. And yet, they wait with quiet devotion and, when at last the beloved one returns, their joy is total.

This video says it all...

Today, I'm going to remember these faithful ones left at home, and the soldiers they love so deeply. And I'm going to pray that every returning warrior has a homecoming this joyful!

Peace, all.

Don't Let The Wonder Escape You

Christmas. Just the word brings images to mind. For some, those images are precious and filled with joy. For others...not so much. For me, Christmas and Advent have always been a source of great joy, wonder, and delight. My mom was the queen of celebrations, and her talent for making every day special really shone this time of year. From the decorations and carols playing to the yearly "Christmas shopping night", where she took each of us 3 kids out on our own night to walk from one end of town to the other, helping us pick the perfect gift, then letting us choose where to eat dinner (oh, all those years she sat at the soda fountain at Newberry's with us!), she imbued our days with the purest sense of celebration in Christ's birth. Of course, my dad performed acrobatic feats extraordinaire to decorate the outside of the church, climbing ladders to the tippy-top to hang lights. The final effect was breathtaking!
Then there was the church family, with whom we shared such memorable times that they still make me smile today. The annual Christmas tree trek into the mountains. First we gathered at the home of Willard and Marie Clark,where hot chocolate and Anita's homemade donuts waited. Thus fortified, we loaded up in a flatbed wagon pulled by a bulldozer, ready for the slow ascent up the narrow mountain road. (That's my mom, in the picture below, with the blue scarf on her head.)

Laughter and singing joined the ever-present winter fog all around us. I still remember the feeling when we finally climbed above the fog and could look out at that thick, fluffy blanket cloaking the valley in Winter mystery. When everyone had found the perfect tree--including one for the church, often topped by the intrepid Clark brothers from a towering evergreen--we made our way back down the mountain, embraced by sweet friendships and the anticipation of decorating our beautiful trees. That's your's truly below on the right with Ann Clark Barnes. Clearly we were ready for hot chocolate! The next Sunday, after the service, we all gathered for decorating the sanctuary and church tree...

So many memories. Advent wreaths (okay Anita, which comes first, the Angel or Shepherd candle?); wrapping gifts; the sweet smells of cookies, oranges stuck with cloves, and pine swags; Christmas sharing night; Christmas Eve carol sing when the sanctuary was lit only by candlelight...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. I can honestly say I have no negative childhood memories of Christmas. That's been such a gift, one I cherish.

How about you? What the things that say to you Advent is here? What fragrances, sounds, sights speak Christmas to you? What carols bring Christmas to life for you? What tradition says to you that Advent and Christmas are well and truly here?

Look forward to your thoughts!

Karen

Happy (?) Holidays

The holiday season is here! Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's. I loved this time of year as a child. 

My mom made everything about it so special. From Halloween to New Year's, she created little celebrations that filled me with joy and anticipation. I still enjoy the holidays, but I have to confess that the holidays I knew as a child aren't the same now that I'm an adult. A part of it is because Mom's gone--she entered eternity 7 years ago. That loss has left a huge hole in my heart, one that seems even more bottomless this time of year. Then there's the stress. As a child, you can sail into the holidays with excitement and wonder. As an adult, you can do the same, but too few of us do so. For me, the challenge has been that I've wanted to recreate those childhood days, to bring out all those wonderful traditions, the memories of which still bring me joy, and put them into practice. But here's the thing: I'm not my mom. Not by a long-shot. I'm more driven and--big surprise--more stressed. She had a sweet, giving spirit that permeated all she did. I aspire to be like her in that, but more often than not I fail. Which only ushers in more frustration, more stress, more disappointment. 


I don't want to do that any more. I want to rediscover the joy of the holidays, but that's going to mean finding what works now rather than what worked then. The Bible tells us to come together and reason things out, so, of course, I thought of you. 

• What do you do to ensure as peaceful a holiday as possible? 
• What traditions have you kept from childhood?
• What new traditions have you established?
• What's your favorite holiday activity?
• And last but certainly not least, what's your favorite holiday memory? 

Come, friends, let's share and reason together. I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

Karen

Modesty: A Lost Art?

Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson, wrote a strong post on modesty (or the lack of it) in today's world. I posted a comment there that Dad and I, on a trip to Lowe's, were helped by a girl of about 17. She was nice looking, and not at all overweight, but her hipster jeans were so tight she bulged over the top. And when she leaned over to roll the carpeting, well...Dad and I both looked away. She stood back up and tugged her jeans back into place, covering what had been uncovered, without missing a beat--or a chomp on her gum.

Speaking of beat, that's what would have happened to me if I'd dressed like this in public when I was a teen! Okay, not really a beating (last time I was spanked was when I was 3 yrs old), but I'd sure get a talking to. Which makes me wonder, where are these kids parents? Or maybe a more impactful question: Don't these kids own mirrors??

As someone who is decidedly...um...fluffy, I know what it's like to bulge where you don't want to, even when the clothes are the right size. (But I am, I'll have you know, 25 lbs lighter than a year ago! And still dropping those life-threatening pounds, by God's grace and a wonderful fiber powder that's made a huge difference for me...)

Anyway, back on track. I can't count the number of teen and college-age e girls I see who are downright skinny, but whose clothes are so darned tight they have bulges. Especially with those hip-hugging jeans so popular today. Or who are baring bellies better left unbared.

I can't help but wonder, do they ever look at themselves in the mirror? They'd look so much better if they'd just wear clothes that fit. It's just not attractive (or, more to the point, hot) to see skin bulging over the tops of jeans. And it sure doesn't say you respect yourself or your body.

Michael Hyatt offered his girls some good guidelines for modesty. I'll offer one more: If it's not something you'd want your pastor, grandmother, or--one day--your own daughter to see you wearing, it's probably not modest. Nor, for that matter, is it a good idea.

Peace, all.

Karen B.

Takin' Back Valentine's Day!

I love Valentine's Day. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's become this commercial spend-fest, but you know what? It doesn't have to be.

I say we take back Valentine's Day. Make it what it used to be when I was a kid.

I remember, growing up, how my mom used to decorate the house top to bottom with cupids and hearts and lace doilies. Dinner was made up of red foods and liquids; each place was adorned with red napkins and a little gift wrapped in red. The centerpiece was red, red, red! It was great.

When I was a young newlywed, I invited our young couples' Bible study group over for a Valentine's Day dinner. Following Mom's lead, EVERYTHING was decked out in red, hearts, and lace. Don, my darlin' hubby, was good enough to help me both decorate and cook, which made the celebration all that much more special.

I still have some of the decorations Mom used to put up. Every time I pull them out, I can see her happy smile and see the delight in her eyes as clear as if she's standing in front of me. And I feel the joy of celebration all over again.

Nowdays it's easy to look on Valentine's Day as a ploy businesses use to get you to spend your money. But all I have to do is think of Mom and I remember...

Valentine's Day isn't about spending money, it's about spreading love. It's not about buying gifts, but about giving your heart and time to those you love. It's not about expensive cards or even flowers or dinners out, it's about celebrating the blessing of love God's given us, both in those around us and through His son, Jesus--who was the greatest Valentine of all time.

So this Valentine's Day, take a moment to share a smile, a hug, and a bit of love with those around you. Don't let the day go by without honoring the love God has lavished on you.

Oh, and if you feel like reading some fun Valentine's Day memories, check out this link: Valentine's Day Memories.

Peace--and loads of love--to you all.

Karen

The Treasure of Traditions

A number of years ago I cowrote a book on family traditions. It was one of my favorite books that I've written because it celebrated the impact of traditions on families, and because it gave me the opportunity to honor our family tradition maker: my mom, Paula Sapp.

Though that book has been out of print for a number of years, I still get emails and calls about it. One such call just recently got me to thinking: Maybe it's time for another traditions book. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. Because I love traditions. My family has a lot of them, many of which my mom carried on from her childhood. And not just at Christmas time. New Year's, St. Patty's, Valentines, birthdays...they all held such wonder for us as kids because Mom made the special. She decorated the whole house for these special times, and the meal on each holiday was grand. St. Pat's, for example, everything was green. The table cloth, the plates, even the food itself. And at our places were little gifts, wrapped in green. Valentine's, it was all in red. I'd wake up on these holidays full of anticipation and excitement, because Mom had such a gift for making them fun and wonderfully memorable.

That's one of the reasons I love traditions so much. They keep people alive in our hearts and minds. Each year since Mom died, as I've carried on the traditions she set in our family, I can feel her there beside me. I can close my eyes and see her smile as she set the table or fixed a special meal. I can hear her pleased laughter as we came to the table and exclaimed over it all. Following these traditions brings memories of her flooding over me.

Another reason I love traditions is that they bring families close together. In addition to my family traditions, Don and I have developed traditions all our own. They remind us where we've been and how far we've come together. And they let us step out of the everyday for a moment to savor being together.

The cool thing about traditions is that you can be miles apart, but knowing you're sharing a tradition on a certain day makes you feel close, connected. And when you're all together, traditions can deepen your enjoyment of each other. Whether simple and small, or elaborate and extensive, traditions are treasures we pass on from generation to generation. And then there are the stories we all have that stem from our efforts to follow or make traditions! I swear, traditions are the perfect breeding ground for adventure.

Here are a few of my favorite family traditions/adventures:

Birthdays
Every birthday we got to choose where we wanted to go for dinner, or what we wanted Mom to fix. My all-time favorite place to be was the Oregon coast, so every year I'd ask to have a picnic at Harris Beach, over on the coast. We'd make the several hour drive playing games like States and I Spy, then head for our favorite table when we reached Harris Beach. The table we liked best overlooked the beach, and was surrounded by shrubs teeming with squirrels. We'd set up the meal, then have a blast coaxing the squirrels from the shrubs with tidbits of food. The seagulls would hover overhead, and we'd toss food into the air and watch them catch it on the fly! After the meal it was down to the beach to wade in the water as we searched for rocks and shells. It was a wonderful way to celebrate together.

Anniversary
For many years, my dad baked a cake from scratch for his and mom's anniversary. It was a "surprise," but we all knew it was coming. I can still see him standing at the counter, ingredients around him, mixing away. And I can still see Mom's delight each time she received her "surprise." When I was 16 I took on the mantle backing a cake from scratch for them. Unfortunately, I hadn't made frosting from scratch before, so when the recipe asked for "confectioner's sugar", well, I didn't have a clue. I couldn't ask mom because the cake was a surprise, right? So I tried every sugar I could: white, brown, honey, molasses...it was a disaster! By the time I thought to call one of the church ladies, who told me what I wanted was powdered sugar, I had two huge containers of flopped frosting hidden under the kitchen sink. Why I didn't throw the frostings away, I'll never know. I'm not sure what Mom and Dad enjoyed most--the final cake with its perfect frosting, or hearing about my escapades--and seeing the evidence for themselves!

So how about you? Do you have a tradition or memory you'd like to share? I look forward to reading your stories too!

Karen

JOY to the World!!

This Christmas, I'm powerfully aware of gifts. Gifts I don't deserve. Gifts I've been given...and for which I'll ever be grateful.

1. Memories. What an amazing concept, don't you think? God could have crafted us such that each day, once completed, was gone. Erased. Never to be seen or felt again. Instead, He gave us these amazing minds and spirits that hold fast to what's gone before us. So there, deep in our minds, are images, sounds, fragrances, feelings...and they bless us over and over. Thanks to memories, my mom is still here, with me, every day. Most especially at Christmas. She was the queen of celebrations, and Christmas was her masterpiece. Every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas was filled with little moments of joy and praise, laughter and celebration. She knew how to build anticipation. Big time. And as I think back on my childhood, and even the last few years Mom was with us, I can't help but smile. I can see her eyes glow as we put up and decorated the tree. I can hear her laughter as we came into the house, instructing everyone, "Don't look! I've got gifts here!" I can feel the touch of her soft hand on my cheek, and hear her sweet voice, so full of love, as she tells me how glad she is that I'm her daughter. Oh yes. Memories are a blessing.

2. Family. I know, I know, they can be a pain. But they're part of us. For many, they've made us who we are today. Not just our birth families, but our church families and extended families. Even our close friends who have become like family. Each person God has brought into my life becomes a thread in the fabric of who I am. Even the threads I never would have chosen, those I was sure would ruin the beautiful picture I wanted my life to be. All the threads impact the tapestry of my life, adding shades and tints and depth. And, ultimately, by God's hand, beauty.

3. Emotional connections. This emotional bond God built into us, this ability to connect...it's mind-boggling. That we can become a part of each other, that our hearts can warm and glow at the sight of someone's face or the sound of someone's voice...simply remarkable. I have a couple of friends in Illinois with whom I share that connection. All it takes is the sound of their voices over the phone, the sight of their faces in pictures, even just seeing their names in my e-mail in-box...and my heart smiles. Because no matter the distance in miles or time, that connection is there. Solid. Tested. True. And I'm the better for it.

4. Grace. Of all the gifts God has given us, this one is the most astounding. Humanity has done so much wrong. We've ruined relationships; shattered dreams; broken every command God ever gave us, often with an unholy glee; taken this world God gave us to cherish and all but killed it; forsaken His ways over and over... Almighty God has every right to blot us out of existence. So what does He do?

He opens His arms and heart to us and offers us Grace. Unmerited. Unconditional. Unending.

Love like that...we can't even begin to get our minds around it. But I'm so grateful He offers it. And all He asks in return is that I say Yes. To Him. To His love.

To freedom.

This Christmas, I'm praying you will know that Grace in new and astounding ways. And that your heart and mind will be aware as never before that the gifts He's given us are all around us. Ever new. Ever present.

Ever and always wrapped in love.

Peace to you...

Karen

A New Member of the Ball Household!

Well, we have someone to be thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday! She's little and furry and utterly adorable. And I wanted you to be among the first to meet her. So (drum roll, please) please say hello to Dasha, our new "baby":


Dasha is a 6 1/2 week old Siberian husky who is full of energy and has no trouble whatsoever handling the big doggies all around her. We brought her home Thursday, and are having an absolute blast.

Why another dog, you ask? Simple, on Monday we discovered our beloved Bodhan, who we call Bo, had a tumor. A bad one. In a bad spot. Before I even had time to absorb this news, the vet had Bo in surgery. They removed most of the tumor, but not all. So now it's a wait-and-see proposition. If the tumor reappears, which the vet said it most likely will, it will be time to bid our darlin' boy good-bye. He's just too old, at 14, for repeated surgeries. Way too hard on him. The thought of losing this dear, sweet boy--who just showed up on our doorstep 12 years ago--shattered my heart. So Don and I talked it over and decided it was time to do something we'd been talking about for some time: bring home a puppy so sweet Bo can help us train it. And believe me, he's been doing just that! He's nudging and leading and being as patient as Job with this little firecracker. It's wonderful to watch. And for her part, Dasha (whose name, like Bo's, is Russian and means "God's gift") is giving Bo new energy. He was dancing around playing with her this morning. Just made my heart smile.

Our other puppies, Dad's 95-lb German shepherd and our nutsoid Aussie-terrier mix, Dakota, have warmed right up to little Dasha. We were worried Dakota, who is a shelter dog and has...um..."issues, might be a problem. But as you can see, she's adjusting quite well! So we have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season.

• Bo is still with us. And we'll cherish each day we have with him. Though 12 years doesn't seen anywhere near enough time with this four-legged angel, I realize it's a lot longer than many get with their beloved pets.
  
• Our new little girl has brought great joy to all of us.
• The cycle of life goes on, remind me every day that God is present, He's at work, and we can rest in His care and provision.

I pray this holiday season has been one of blessing for you, too. That you've seen God in the faces and hearts of those around you, that you've felt His love and peace, and that you're reminded, each day, that He is God.

He is in control.

You can rest secure in that truth.

Peace and puppy love to you today.

Karen B.

Would You Stand for Christ?

I love my family. We all get along great (most of the time), and enjoy being together (as you can see in the picture to the right. That's my older brother and his son mugging for the camera with me...yes, we're a family of goofballs). They're a part of me, and I love that. I love talking and playing and being with them. I'd hate life without them.

Which brings me to some interesting conversations I've had lately. Conversations that have challenged my mind and heart. But let me start at the beginning. Or, as Inigo Montoya says in The Princess Bride (arguably one of the best movies of all time), "No, there is too much. Let me sum up!"

In my day job as an acquisitions editor, I've been working with a new author (well, new to me), James David Jordan. His work-in-progress, tentatively titled Forsaken, has his protagonist facing an issue that Christians seem to enjoy discussing: Would you ever deny Christ?

Of course, American Christians seldom have to deal with this issue in real life. But...what if?

• What if you were told you'd lose your job unless you denied Christ as the savior of the world?
• What if someone kidnapped your child, threatening to kill that child unless you made a public denial of Christ as the Son of God?
• What if someone broke into your home, put a gun to your family's heads, and said unless you deny Christ, they're all dead. Not you, just them.

I've asked a number of people, and I confess I was stunned at the response. The majority said they'd deny Christ.

"He'd know I didn't mean it, so what would it matter?"
"Everyone who heard me say it would know it was just to save my family. God would understand that!"
"There's no way I'd let my child die. I don't care what it cost me."

Okay. I believe not having children hinders me in truly comprehending what this would do to a parent, to choose Christ over a child. But still, I can't help wonder...

• The Christians in the coliseums had this same out. The whole, "They'll know I don't mean it" thing. There has to be a reason they chose to die rather than deny.
• Other ancient martyrs certainly had this same out. So why didn't they take it?
• Believers in other parts of the world have this same out, and yet they stand for the truth of who Christ is. Above all.

Think it's not happening today? Just do a search on the web for modern-day martyrs, and you'll find story after story of Christians in Turkey, the Sudan, North Korea, Iraq, and multitudes of other places being tortured, crippled, and murdered for failing to deny Christ. And yet, so many American Christians seem to think it's excusable in extreme circumstances because they "wouldn't mean it."

Words have power. Saying you don't mean something, doesn't change the fact that you've said it. Doesn't negate the impact of letting words pass your heart and lips. You know what that's like. How often have someone's words hurt you? An apology can help, but no apology can erase the fact that hateful or hurtful words are spoken. Being careless with words isn't only foolish, it's dangerous.

Consider Matthew 10, starting in chapter 28:

28 “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

32 “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.

34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’

37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. 38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. 39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Whoa. Tough words. Tough truths. And yes, I know you can't text-proof Scripture, taking things out of context. But still, was the situation when Christ spoke these words any different than it would be now? Regardless of the stakes, you're being given a choice. So what would you do?

I understand those who choose to save their families. I do. My family is precious to me, and the thought of watching someone kill any of them because I refused to deny Christ...makes my stomach hurt. But my family is firm in their faith in God. No matter what happens here, I know we'll be together eternity.

Could I live with them dying because of something I wouldn't do. I don't know. I have a hard time getting my mind around such a thought. But I know this: I can't live without God. And to deny Him...that would tear me apart. Because no matter what the circumstances, I keep coming back to this:

Denying Christ is not a small thing.

To think you can do it, that you can excuse it with "But I didn't mean it" seems careless. Cavalier. And utterly unbiblical. Of course, I pray none of us ever has to face this kind of situation. But after these recent conversations, I'm convinced American believers need to be talking about it more. Reasoning together about what it means--really means--to stand for Christ.

No matter what.



Karen