tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8353599589970987461.post1398065921693449228..comments2023-10-21T06:06:42.555-07:00Comments on The Power of Words, The Magic of Story: Actions Speak Louder than Words--at least, they should!: Show, Don't TellKaren B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11353902027647381235noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8353599589970987461.post-2784037602782620442008-03-28T22:19:00.000-07:002008-03-28T22:19:00.000-07:00So sad I missed Mt. Hermon this year. :(This is a ...So sad I missed Mt. Hermon this year. :(<BR/><BR/>This is a great run-through of "show vs. tell." I always seem to have trouble with the last one. R.U.E. My critique partners ding me constantly for that.<BR/><BR/>I thought I may as well, as I've been pondering this issue of late. So, here's one of my examples from my WIP, <A HREF="http://www.shadowofthewood.com/golden-teaser/" REL="nofollow">Golden</A>:<BR/><BR/><I>I yank my hand back. My grip tightens on the gun, finger ready to pull back on the trigger. Just do it. Why can't I just do it?<BR/><BR/>Because he saved my life. He knew what would happen and he walked right into it.<BR/> <BR/>Why?<BR/><BR/>I press harder with the barrel, the tip of my finger grips firmer on the trigger. <BR/><BR/>Don’t have a choice. I don't have--</I><BR/><BR/>And so forth and so on... ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8353599589970987461.post-64260315554777573682008-03-05T18:54:00.000-08:002008-03-05T18:54:00.000-08:00Very well explained.Very well explained.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8353599589970987461.post-34529030047361289202008-03-05T10:56:00.000-08:002008-03-05T10:56:00.000-08:00Karen,I chuckled when I saw the difference in word...Karen,<BR/><BR/>I chuckled when I saw the difference in word count between your telling and showing examples. Is THIS why my manuscript turned out so long, because I showed everything? Maybe I'm that weird bird that needs to be taught how to tell!Lori Bentonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04714197239425827339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8353599589970987461.post-27968707409232281322008-03-05T05:07:00.000-08:002008-03-05T05:07:00.000-08:00Karen,Sorry about your pneumonia, but very glad yo...Karen,<BR/>Sorry about your pneumonia, but very glad you decided to share your wisdom with us. It brings back memories of sitting in your mentoring group at Mount Hermon, listening to the pearls drop and thinking, "How can this woman have learned so much about writing?" Thanks for sharing.Richard L. Mabry, MDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16251750407920101073noreply@blogger.com